I smell stomach acid.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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