I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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