We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
The chlamydia really affected his face.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
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