Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Randomize
