Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
Randomize
