can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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