fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
