i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Randomize
