You're completely useless in the revolution.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
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