I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
