So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
