the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
