see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
