Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Randomize
