Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
