we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
