let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Randomize
