shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Randomize
