A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
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