Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Randomize
