I hope mine doesn't look like that
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Randomize
