I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
