An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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