Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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