I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Randomize
