Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Randomize
