I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
