yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Randomize
