i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
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