The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
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