was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
