I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
