Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
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