And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
