Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
