Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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