i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
