I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
