i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
