Too much gin, very little bucket
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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