he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
