Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Randomize
