That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
