she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
