We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
