You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
