i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
