dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
