therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
