Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
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