brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
