no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize