The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
