i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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