Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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