How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Randomize
