I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
