a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Randomize
