By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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