Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
