dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
