Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I can't turn off my feet"
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
